A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in. ” The mother thinks for a few seconds and says, “Well dear, Mommy and Daddy fall in love and get married.One night they go into their bedroom, they kiss and hug, and have sex.” The daughter looks puzzled so the mother continues, “That means the daddy puts his penis in the mommy’s vagina. The son asks the father, “Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?
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In her 30s and 40s, they are like pears, still nice, hanging a bit. ” The mother smiles and says, “Well, dear, a man goes through three phases also. We went there and she said, "Do you mind if I go into the bedroom for a minute? She came out 5 minutes later with a birthday cake, my wife, my parents, my kids, my friends, & my colleagues all yelling, "SURPRISE!!! Finally, the boy drops his pants and says, “Here’s something I have that you’ll never have!
In his 20s, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. I went to work and even my colleagues didn't wish me a happy birthday. ” The little girl is pretty upset by this, since it is clearly true, and runs home crying.
In his 30s and 40s, it’s like a birch, flexible but reliable. As I entered my office, my secretary said, "Happy birthday, boss! A while later, she comes running back with a smile on her face.
After his 50s, it’s like a Christmas tree.” “A Christmas tree? “Yes, dead from the root up and the balls are just for decoration.” A teacher is teaching a class and she sees that Johnny isn't paying attention, so she asks him, "If there are three ducks sitting on a fence, and you shoot one, how many are left? " Johnny says, "Because the shot scared them all off." The teacher says, "No, two, but I like how you're thinking." Johnny asks the teacher, "If you see three women walking out of an ice cream parlor, one is licking her ice cream, one is sucking her ice cream, and one is biting her ice cream, which one is married? She drops her pants and says, “My mommy says that with one of these, I can have as many of those as I want!
" The teacher says, "The one sucking her ice cream." Johnny says, "No, the one with the wedding ring, but I like how you're thinking! ” After picking her son up from school one day, the mother asks him what he did at school.
The kid replies, "I had sex with my teacher." She gets so mad that when they get home, she orders him to go straight to his room.
When the father returns home that evening, the mother angrily tells him the news of what their son had done.
As the father hears the news, a huge grin spreads across his face.
He walks to his son's room and asks him what happened at school, the son tells him, "I had sex with my teacher." The father tells the boy that he is so proud of him, and he is going to reward him with the bike he has been asking for.
On the way to the store, the dad asks his son if he would like to ride his new bike home.
His son responds, "No thanks Dad, my butt still hurts." A boy says to a girl, "So, sex at my place? " "Okay, but I sleep in a bunk bed with my younger brother, and he thinks we're making sandwiches, so we have to have a code. " Later on the girl is yelling, "Cheese cheese, tomato tomato!