Characteristics of Codependency If you examine the characteristics of people with codependent behaviors, you will find behavior patterns more typical of children than of fully functioning adults.
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You do things to please your partner even when you do not want to.
You rely on your partner to define and take care of you.
You live your life as if you are a victim of circumstances.
Sometimes you might feel like your codependent partner is needy and dramatic, but maybe their need for reassurance is why you love them in the first place. Your partner telling you that you’ve failed isn’t the ideal way for them to ask for love and attention, but as much as you might want to defend yourself or fight back, understand that their comments are coming from a place of insecurity.
They like to cuddle and hold your hand and are always eager to play your favorite roles. Before things get out of control, try out these tips for dealing with your codependent better half.
If they feel understood by you, their anxiety will lessen.
Try mirroring back in your own words how unloved your partner is feeling. You’d probably deserve it, because your partner deserves better than secrets. The more love you put into the emotional piggy bank, the more secure your codependent partner will feel about the relationship.
You might think they are making no sense whatsoever, but feeling unloved can be a scary emotional experience, and you don’t want your partner to think you are dismissive of their feelings. Don’t say “I’ll talk to you when I feel like it.” Tip 4. If you want to ignore your partner and play games and be withholding and act like a player, don’t blame me when they can’t take it anymore and decide to key your car. Click here to see all the therapists in Portland that treat codependency issues.
You might feel burnt out and helpless, but calmly explain that you care about them, that both of you are clearly upset, and that there is nothing you can say to make both of you feel better. It’s helpful to give an exact time of when you’d like to talk again--later tonight, an hour, tomorrow after work. Show your partner that you’re thinking about them and they’ll show you all the characteristics that make you love them.