In fact, I'd been going about being single all wrong.
When I started seeing my husband, aka the first guy I wasn't embarrassed to tell my therapist about, I was gobsmacked to realize how much I hadn't known about dating before then.
I didn't have very much fun at it, which is depressing since I didn't pair up until my 30s.
I realize that my past experiences have made me who I am today, but I still wish I could go back in time and have a sisterly chat with poor, clueless, "younger me."I could've written three novels, started a business and hiked the Appalachian Trail with all the wasted time and energy.
It's too late for me, but maybe you can learn from what I wish I knew then.1.
Finding a romantic partner is only one of many goals you can have at once.
There's a difference between making something a priority and having an obsession.
No one wants to be the Captain Ahab of the dating world.2.
When you like a guy, and your mutual friends have multiple anecdotes about him projectile vomiting after excessive drinking, you need to rethink the infatuation.
You didn't like it when your godson hurled on you, and he was a toddler. It's not about getting someone to think you're good enough for them. And sometimes they have small behaviors that indicate a complete lack of respect. When you're part of a couple, you miss being free to follow your every whim. No one ever fell in love while analyzing every detail of their momentous first meeting. If a man says that he's too damaged for you (or too neurotic, or too anything), just take his word for it.
It’s about finding someone you can stand to spend a ridiculous amount of time with. If you wouldn't let your friend's sweetie talk to her (your essential piece of pop culture may vary) anyway. The sooner you weed them out of your life, the happier you'll be.8. Being unattached means not having to compromise on your plans.9. Even if it is his low self-esteem talking, you're not going to be able to fix him.
It's about finding the puzzle piece you fit with and the Ernie to your Bert.4.
The new guys seemed so cute, and your love life seemed so full of possibilities.
But soon you knew all their names, who was cool, and who was weird.