Narcissists can be a pain to deal with because they don’t always make good partners or friends.
So let’s talk about what to do if you have a narcissist in your life. Judith Orloff has a quiz to see if you are dealing with a narcissist.
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It’s important to recognize what triggers the narcissist in your life.
When do you notice that they get self-involved or pushy? If you can identify these areas it becomes much easier to deal with.
Glen Gabbard did research with narcissists and found that many egotistical people actually develop this need to be the center of attention to distract from their shame.
So in fact, people who brag a lot or have megalomania have deep insecurities they are trying to hide from others and/or themselves.
When you are with them and you see what triggers them, it can be helpful to try to understand if there is a deeper weakness they are trying to hide.
*Interestingly, more men are narcissists than women and this might have to do with the fact that in our culture, men are told to hide and be ashamed of their weaknesses.
If you see a deeper weakness, you shouldn’t try to change a narcissist; you just want to show them empathy.
Here is a quick example: There is an old friend I have from college who always had to be the center of attention.
Her triggers were at co-ed parties and any where we had to get dressed up.