Instead of choosing between an uptight man in a horrible jumper and a sex-pest, she could have found suitable, balanced boys online, met her pick of them at the local Café Rouge, and lived happily ever after with the most appealing.
Since her adventures in 1996, online dating has become the best way to find love, certainly for anyone over the age of 25 with typical British social skills – that is, they'd rather poke themselves in the eye with a dirty stick than approach an attractive stranger on the train.
Your first step to true internet love is choosing the right website. Some are for farmers, some for golfers, some for beautiful people, some for people who wouldn't look out of place crewing a pirate ship. Populated by fiercely intelligent, beautiful people with sensible political views; or, put another way, Telegraph readers.
2 Match (match.com) Match claims seven million joiners in Britain since 2005.
That's almost one in eight British residents, so it's clearly an exaggeration, but the site is still massive.
So it's a good option if you want to meet someone from a different background, and have time to trawl through "millions" of potentials, mostly aged 25 to 45.
3 My Single Friend (mysinglefriend.com) A friend writes your narrative on MSF, then you comment: "Can't believe you mentioned the charity work, the lottery win and the modelling." So, someone else shows off for you, plus there's less of a stigma because you didn't sign yourself up. With 8,000 to 10,000 new members every month, this is a cracker.
4 Guardian Soulmates (soulmates.uk) Telegraph readers don't generally chase Guardianistas but Soulmates is a sensible choice for urban intellectual types, with an average age of 38 and more than 145,000 members (so they can't all be Guardian readers).
Soulmates' profiles are about the wittiest, so it's certainly worth browsing this site to steal ideas.
5 Lovestruck (lovestruck.com) matches urban desk pilots with people in other local offices.
The site's new feature is an i Phone application that buzzes when one of Lovestruck's 40,000 members who fits your criteria is nearby.
6 Beautiful People (beautifulpeople.com) You post a picture and members vote whether you're good looking enough to join.