Sure, my kids can bathe in private or close the doors to their bedrooms, but they cannot keep diaries locked away or drawers in their dressers off limits from me and the Hubs. Why do we think that some how we're betraying our precious snowflake's trust by reading her text messages or his emails? They can have an opinion and they can tell me my rules suck, but I really don't care. My job is to raise them and to keep them safe and to make sure they're not entitled assholes. ) A few weeks ago I had lunch with a friend who has a teenage daughter.
My friend was upset because her freshman daughter had been caught sending inappropriate photos to a senior boy.
The mother of the boy was doing her usual random search through her son's phone and came across the photos of a scantily clad young girl.
Web camjapan sex - Unmonitored adult chats free
She tracked down my friend and told her about the photos of her daughter.
The mothers agreed to delete the photos and punish the kids. I will read their diaries and their journals and anything else they write.
Can you imagine if the boy's mom didn't find that photo? We need to be there guiding them and helping them and supervising them. Too many kids struggle with depression, addiction, low self esteem, and more and a good place to find out about it is through their writings.
My friend Kim at Let Me Start By Saying wrote an essay that was featured on the Huffington Post.
It was about reading her five-year-old daughter's diary. She was worried she might find out that her daughter was sad or angry or hiding something. When my kids are teenagers, they will know that at any moment I can ask them to hand over their cell phones, laptops, whatever equipment they'll be carrying by then, so that I can see who they're talking to and what they're talking about.
Kim knew her daughter had been writing in her diary and Kim wondered what was going on in her daughter's head. Instead, she found that her daughter was happy and loved her life. I am determined to know everything that goes on under this roof. Can you imagine if those boys in Steubenville had parents who enforced this rule?Kim wrote a sweet and endearing post about this experience and her relief to find her daughter happy and healthy. I'm not stupid enough to think that I will always know what's happening, there will be secrets they'll manage to keep, but I'm also not stupid enough to think my kids will just tell me everything that's going on in their lives. I can't be lazy or complacent and just think my kids are good kids because they have decent grades and their friends seem OK. Can you imagine getting your son's phone and seeing pictures of a girl being violated by him and his friends?Now, it's known that the Huffington Post has some of the meanest, angriest, trolliest commenters around. Do you think those boys would have taken those pictures if they suspected their parents might see them?I always imagine many of them living in vans down by the river or licking Cheetos residue from their fingers while typing their raging opus in their mother's dark basements. I know I've had to pee in many a cup to get a job and I know that my emails were read and my phone conversations were monitored. Do you think they would have uploaded videos to Youtube laughing at the victim and calling her names if they thought for a second their parents would access their Youtube accounts? But I'm not surprised the Steubenville boys didn't have rules like these.Well, Kim struck a nerve with her post and got those vans and basements rattling with anger. Those kids were dicks and they had parents who enabled them and let them be dicks. Those kids had parents who didn't want to betray their trust or invade their personal space. (Of course I'm not saying that every kid who is allowed privacy is going to be a rapist or an asshole, but your chances are pretty high.So many people came out screaming at Kim for "violating her daughter's privacy," for "betraying her trust," and flat out calling Kim a terrible mother. If they thought Kim was a terrible mother, then I must be a HORRIBLE mother. A few people made the distinction that her daughter is only five, but if she were 15 then it would a be a violation, blah, blah. I have been very clear in making sure my children have never even gotten the idea that they have a right to privacy in my home. They don't get to leave this house without telling me where they're going, who they're going with, and when they will be back. Good for you if you've raised a good kid who was also afforded privacy!